Why I Am The Way I am

Ok so quite a few times I always run into people who don't understand who I am or why I do the things I do.

Now take note I am not writing this as a pitty party for my self. But I feel like I hold to much back because I think I'm making up excuses.

Fact one I hardly ever share my true feelings and when I do they can be a little harsh. I grew up with parents telling me to suck it up and get over it , that well it's life. I don't blame my parents but it's what I have learned.

Fact 2 I do speak what is on my mind, whether it to be harsh or not. Because I believe that we shouldn't beat around he bush.

Fact 3 I sometimes break fact 2. Because well I don't want any hard feelings because there always will be when the truth comes out.

Fact 4 I take pride in what I buy, and well i get VERY upset if someone uses me. Because I work for what I need and I work very hard for it, and unlike most college students I have absolutley no one I can fall back on to help me finish college, not parents or grandparents.

Fact 5 I cannot stand a selfish person, APPRECIATE what you have I try my hardest to because I have a roof over my head and a job to go to.

Fact 6 Your home life does not define who you are. You grow up to make your own choices.

Fact 7 People need to realize peope make heir own choices whether they are good or not. If they have nothing to do with you, you just need to let them make those choices and learn from them. No matter how mad you get it will NOT change a single thing.

Fact 8 I do not like people telling me to how to live my life. I am an adult with the same responsibilies, and the knowledge to know right from wrong. I have 1 parent now and she trusts the decisions I make.

Fact 9 I am beginning to realize why I get along with guys better. I HATE DRAMA.

Fact 10 I am beginning to despise the idea church has turned into. It's not about what clothes you wear or the car you drive, it's about God and the people you worship with. MONEY HAS DESTROYED THE CHURCH.

Fact 11 I have lost very important people in my life and I am STILL getting over it. People who had a major impact and now without them it leaves a major gap.

Fact 12 My friends are my family, because family sometimes act like things are an obligation but friends are there because they want to be.

Fact 13 Do not judge, because when you are pointing a finger you should be helping them up.

Fact 14 Do not dwell in your own self pitty and make excuses for the state you are in. Only you can make your happiness. NO ONE else.

Fact 15 Please respect what I believe. If you want to be in my life you do not have to believe what I do but making fun of it and disrespecting it does not fly. I'm sorry.

This wasn't ment to step on toes but to let you see what I see

Scream

Can you hear that?
Can you hear it??
Its building up
Consuming my entire being
I hold it in
But it only controls me
Pausing at my throat
It renders my speech useless
My heart has stopped
My breaths have quickened
No one is to know
But I must release it
It must ESCAPE!!!

A slap in the face

So yesterday i was doing some more reading and well i stumbled upon this verse and well it was sort of a slap in the face. Lol God usually sends me back to reality in times i need it most.

Galatians 5:19-21 (New International Version)

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

What i think this is saying is Christ died for our sins but that does not mean we are to take Him for granted.
We are to live like Him to the best of our ability.

therefore....
Later on its says in verse 24

Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires.

Just something i wanted to share :]

Humility

was doing a little reading and found this just thought i should share it :P

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore also God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those who are in heaven, and on earth, and under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Philippians 2:3-11

True Love

What the world/society doesn't realize is true love between a man and a woman is not made up of money, the finest dates we go on or the nicest things we buy for one another, true love is about LOYALTY, PATIENCE, and FORGIVENESS. Something only GOD can give us.

That is whats wrong with our marriages today, God is not first in their lives and well when God is not there then naturally the couple will "fall out of love".

Only God can give us the absolutely the truest of love.

It boggles me so much when a person comes to me and is like, "lilly, i just dont know what happened we were so in love" Well i can tell you exactly what happened.

God is not FIRST

He needs to be the first love in your life.

Above EVERYTHING else.

andl when its apparent He is not there well then, your love won't be either

And having God in your life isn't about just reading the bible or just praying,

its about you and Him having a RELATIONSHIP.

And God doesn't need to be in just this part or that part. ITS EVERY PART!

God needs to be in everything you say, do, or feel.

and He knows when you don't put him there.

this is also something I hate, when someone is obviously against one thing that is wrong but yet goes and does something else that is just as wrong.

being a hypocrite is something every Christian needs to watch out for.

dont get me wrong i sin and sometimes i my self don't put God first.

but watch out, your actions speak louder than words, literally.

I don't know what will do the next time someone laughs when i tell them i truly am in love,

they say "your to young to know what love is"

no, i have GOD in my heart thats how i know what love is.

i heard a girl say once "i don't believe in true love, i only believe in being comfortable and finding someone you can share that with"

well she obviously doesn't know God's love.

This saddens me so much that this is what society has come to.

So its up to us Christians to show the world what true love really is, to show the world fairy tales really can come true.